Part 1        Part 2        Part 3        Part 4        Part 5        Part 6 Conclusion

As time slipped silently past me and my son grew inside, he began a routine with me.  As I would lay in bed each night around 8:30 pm, he would let me know he was there.  He would start to wiggle.  I’ve had four other children now and looking back I feel his wiggle time was a special communication between us.  It wasn’t a kick or a stretch, it was continuous for fifteen minutes or more every night as I settled down in the quiet of my room.  I cherished the moments he rolled around as I gently placed my hand on the belly that housed his precious body.

None of us can cheat time.  The phone rang.  I don’t remember the words this time.  I remember the context.  My time was over.  Next week Joseph Courtney and I will have made it thirty-two weeks.

Regardless of our religion God loves us.  We are His children.  He will help us in ANY situation that comes into our lives NO MATTER WHAT WE HAVE DONE or what our religious background.  I know this to be true!  Reach up to him!  This is one of my stories and it is true.  It is simply what happened.  In the LDS faith we believe men have been given the priesthood which is the power to act for God in righteous situations and according to God’s will.  No matter what your religion is, if you believe God is involved in our lives, you can imagine the reality of his concern and care for his daughters on this earth and that he will help us.

At my parents suggestion, I agreed to having my father and my brother give me a priesthood blessing.  This took place sometime close to and before my regular time for bed.  I don’t remember the words my brother spoke.  I do remember the peace I felt during the blessing.  I went to bed that very night and never felt the touch of my son throughout the night.  When I woke up in the morning, I spoke to my mother, “I haven’t felt the baby kick all night”.  My mother said, “Let’s go to the hospital”.  She knew Joseph was gone.  Oh, how I love my mother!  Later she told me that as I went off to bed my brother had told her that he felt the baby  was already gone.

What a loving Heavenly Father who let me suffer consequence of poor decisions to learn and grow, yet in the hour of my need, comforted and blessed me beyond measure, releasing me from something I wasn’t prepared or armed to handle!  In fact, during the entire pregnancy, I do not recall contemplating the decision or ever coming to one, not even the night of the blessing.  It was just something I could not do.  Perhaps, I had been comforted and released from those thoughts.

(Part 5)