My mother is 87 years old.  Her name is Twyla.  She has the cutest sense of humor and I’ve grown closer to her this year than ever before…

She has had dementia for about 9 years and it’s been a pretty slow steady decline until May of this year.  We’ve been through a lot together this year.

But, this story isn’t about my mother even though she’s in the story.  Twyla sits in a nursing home at Crestwood now.  She is well taken care of.  She doesn’t walk.  She doesn’t sit up straight without being propped up.  She doesn’t dress herself or feed herself.

I visit her often.  Sometimes every day or every other day.  My mom’s room is the last room down the hall on the left.  We’ve lucked out so far and she hasn’t had to have a roommate.  Mom can get aggravated with others at times when she doesn’t understand what’s going on so it’s been nice to not worry about that.

Recently Doris has moved into the other bed in my mom’s room.  She’s quiet.  She stays in her bed all the time.  Doris has been here about a week now.

Today after pulling the privacy curtain between Doris and my mom and getting mom comfortable in her recliner (with the help of a CNA). I prop up her swollen hands on a pillow,  I pick up the speakers with her iPod plugged into them and pull up a chair next to her.  I say hello and kiss her on the forehead.  She slowly and strenuously tells me I’m wonderful.

She has three playlists on her iPod that I’ve added.  Twyla’s fun music, which by the way is not too rowdy.  It has one of her favorites “Tennessee Waltz” and a must hear if you haven’t haha “Bushel and a Peck” by Doris Day.  I’m so seriosu!   A Bushel and a Peck.  Two other playlist on her iPod are Church Music and Church Music Instrumental.  I settle in next to her and turn on Twyla’s Fun Music.

I feel a little strange, almost like im doing something wrong.  I feel like I should turn off the fun music and listen to something more spiritual.  I ignore the feeling and keep playing my word puzzle game next to mom.  I feel it again.  I think I should switch the music.  I ignore it.  A third time, change the music to something spiritual.  Okay, okay I’ll just do it.  I put down my book and switch the play list to Church Music Inspirational and settle back in.

I always feel good here.  The patients make me happy when I talk to them.  I’ve tried hard to learn all their names and something about them.  There situations seem miserable.  But, there is more to this place. I’ve also tried hard to learn the names of all the CNA’s and the nurses.

Some time passes and Steven comes in and peaks around the curtain to where I’m sitting close to my mother.  He’s a young handsome CNA that always has a happy attitude and I’ve heard him in the hall and in patients rooms singing out loud to them.  Steven quietly says to me, “Just so you know… Your mom’s roommate passed away.  I don’t want you to see her and not think that she is being taken care of.”

Over the next thirty minutes or so I sit in the room with my mother pondering what has just taken place.  I hear Tracy, the nurse, and Steven taking about what needs to be done and tenderly washing Doris, combing her hair and making sure that her body looks nice for her family.

I have come to think of death differently.  I feel it is a sacred time.  Sacred enough that I was prompted to turn on sacred music because of what was about to take place.  I heard once there were three life events that God was involved in more than any others, birth, marriage and death.  I don’t think that Doris was sad.  I believe it was a time of rejoicing for family waiting for her.  I know this life is just is an event we pass through and it is not finished once we leave our mortal body for a while.

 

 

Recently I listened to a great book by Mel Robbins called The 5 Second Rule.  Mel Robbins BLOG

Here are a couple of quotes I loved and noted from her book.

• “You have been assigned this mountain so that you can show others it can be MOVED!”

I definitely feel like I have climbed enough mountains in my life.  Some of them may have been thrown in front of me by none other than myself, LOL.  Regardless, I moved them, one shovel full at a time!  Hurrah for me!

• “ONE moment of courage can change your day!  ONE day can change your life!  Your life can change the world!”

I have plenty of those moments that I look back and say, “If only I had…”.  May God grant me the wisdom to continue learning from past experience, to forgive myself and others always, to remember the times that I displayed courage and to continue in courage day by day.  I know he is with me, and I want to change the world!  8)

I really love the idea of the 5 Second Rule.  I’m going to try and apply it in my life for a few things I’ve let get out of control.  1. My weight.  My eating habits and less than active life have got to go!  2. Things that I’ve always wanted to do.  Now that I don’t have to work anymore, I promised God I would use my time to try and help others and him.  I think I will start by writing a book.  Hahaha.  5, 4, 3, 2, 1 Take off!