Part 1       Part 2        Part 3        Part 4        Part 5        Part 6 Conclusion

I don’t remember the ride home or much after that except the doctor at the University wanted to see me throughout the pregnancy.  The decision slipped away with my pregnancy as I waited.  Why make such a decision until it was necessary?  Perhaps the life growing inside me would make the decision for me or God.

Sometime before the news of our baby’s difficulties, my parents had made the decision for Jay and I to get married.  We had a small ceremony in the living room of my parents and moved into their home.

One difficult time that I remember was at one of the appointments down at the University.  Doctor Hurst came down as well.  I remember that they wouldn’t let my husband, Jay, come in.  He had to stay in a waiting room.  The University doctor and what I believe were several students were huddled around studying the ultrasound as it was being given.  I think they forgot about me and the life inside of me they were discussing.  To my recollection they were discussing all the things that could possibly be wrong as they looked at the screen.  Maybe this, maybe that, well look at this, that’s strange.  Tears began to roll down my face and as I looked up Doctor Hurst was directly over me looking at me.  He told them they needed to leave.  I was so grateful to him in that moment.

Another difficult thing was when people who didn’t know me would congratulate me or talk about my pregnancy as my belly protruded larger and larger.  Once on the elevator at the University I remember an older lady especially enthusiastic as she congratulated Jay and I and asked about how excited we must be as we were riding to our destination floor.  I’m sure she was confused as my troubled eyes could not conceal the deceit of the positive nod of my head and my quiet lips.

(Read Part 4)